D-Wars, or Dragon Wars (as some of you may be more familiar with) is just that movie. Now the rule is that it HAS to be a movie you see in theaters AND that it is so bad that it goes all the way around back to good. Transformers was just a BAD movie. With a little thought and care put into that movie it could have been actually good. D-Wars, if any effort were made to make it better (casting, acting special effects, plot, editing), it would have been just as bad as Transformers (although that is a very hard thing to do)! And yes, there is a reason why I make comparisons to Transformers (but I'll get to that in a minute).
So, (SPOILER ALERT, well, if not for the spoilers, you may just not see the movie, but anyways...) we start off With a bad Tom Cruise wanna-be (who looks as old as he is, but is supposed to be 20) reporting on an "incident" that happened in the L.A. area. From here, I started thinking that this is gonna be a bad movie, but before I can even finish that thought, we flash back to when he's 5 (or so) and (with his father) in an antique shop. Naturally, the boy wanders off and gets hit with a blue light. The shop dealer feigns a heart attack so that the father can leave (long enough) for him to make tea and tell the boy a story which leads us to a flashback within a flashback! Now I am able to finish my earlier thought.
While contemplating exactly how bad this movie is going to be, I am treated to ancient China with tons of hard to follow (but honestly, by this time I wasn't really paying attention) back story about a girl who must die to give a dragon (or whoever stumbles along) the power to ascend into heaven. Then, it gets really bad. Rejects from Episode I (complete with cannons on their backs) show up and attack...(well, carpet bomb) the city where this girl lives in order to find her, then run in there looking for her. That's when the Kung-Fu guy comes along and starts kicking butt. Even though he takes them all on, (as soon as he gets hurt) he decides to lead them right to the girl (and her "protector"). Now the "evil" dragon shows up. I say "evil" because (now that I think about it) both dragons wanted the same thing, except the good dragon was to receive the power willingly, and the evil one wanted to take it. Anyway....The protector and the girl kill themselves, which (I guess) stopped the power from leaving her (but the power was only to leave her when she died) and that takes us back to the present.
*Whew* So now I'm in full awe of this "epic" and more stuff keeps happening. The main girl (who looks like she's pushing 25, but is supposed to be 19) gets hit on by some "oh-too-friendly" guys outside a bar and the shopkeeper (who is a descendant of the Kung-Fu guy) just walks on screen kicks the crap out of them and (without saying a word) walks off camera. The Bad guy (dressed in his conspicuous bad guy outfit) just lurks around for no reason while the evil dragon chases the girl all over town. When the evil guy and the two leads meet up, the sidekick (who is a black guy who doesn't get killed) first tries to shoot him with a revolver (that only has two bullets in it) then (after that doesn't work) tries to hit him (to no avail). Turns out the the evil guy can handle everything except getting hit with a car (which happens twice in the movie).
Now the final showdown happens (which is just like Transformers) 'cept here we have a full out war going on down ONE STREET in L.A. and man, they went all out with the action. Tanks and army guys (who didn't even bother to show up to acting school when they were showing them how to act like army guys) vs the (yet again) Episode I rejects. Just when the evil dragon (which, much like Transformers, nobody sees until it's too late) is about to kill our leads (on top of a skyscraper) the Blackhawk helicopters show and shoot the @#$%^ out of the dragon. Then the smaller (winged) dragons show up and there is a full on dog fight in the air while the army is (still) fighting down the one street.
With all this that I have mentioned, there is still so much more to be seen in this awesome-ly bad movie: The out of place scenes, the massive amounts of (blood-less) carnage, and even some unexpected deaths made D-Wars "The most awesome-est worst movie ever" and I loved it!
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