Transformers

SPOILERS




There are a few things I have to say before I talk about this movie. First, Michael Bay LOVES to blow up stuff. He LOVES car chases, and action. Second, Michael Bay has been quoted to say "Originally when I was contacted to do the Transformers I was going to pass, but then I thought I could make this into the next superhero franchise". And third, I was a HUGE Transformer fan. I still love the original movie and can (almost) recite the whole movie word for word (with music cues). Oh, Fourth, sometimes I tend to ramble...
So I felt it's only fair that I review this movie two ways. First as a "Transformers movie" and then as a "movie". Think of it as the American Godzilla. It just HAD TO be reviewed two ways. But this movie is different. it's its own thing.....
I was negative going into the movie. But just a few days before I saw it, I went to see Fantastic Four 2. One of the trailers was for Transfomrers. I heard the sound. the sound effect of the Transforming. It was only Prime, but it was there. Then I had heard that they got the original voice actor to do Prime's voice (Peter Cullen). Then I talked to this one guy who is a projectionist and he said he saw it on Saturday. He said he was a Trasnformer fan and he liked it. So last night I had my hopes up. The movie opens and the first thing I hear is Peter Cullen's voice. I was very happy. The beginning started off prety good. I was thinking maybe I'm gonna like this after all.
I was wrong.
The movie was inconsistant. They didn't know what kind of moive they wanted to be. A love story? An action flick? A Serious invasion movie? A comedy? It was like 6 different guys wrote this movie. And you can tell which guy wrote which parts. There were some parts that were a tip of the hat to the original series and yet at the same time it was insulting to the original fans. If they got Peter, why not Frank Welker for Megatron? He's still alive and still does voices for movies and TV all the time. Hell, he's doing the voice for Megatron in the freakin' video game! As a Transformer fan, I was (almost) eating up any nugget of old Transformers that they gave to me. When Prime said "One shall stand! One shall fall!" I was so happy (It's a quote taken from the original movie). I know that most of it came from Peter's voice, but they had a little robot Transform into a radio (like Soundwave) or when they had Bumblebee right next to an old (yellow) Volswagen Beetle. So if it was a better overall movie the Transformer stuff would have keep me going.
But it was crap.
As a movie itself, a lot of things didn't make sense. There was no explainiation as to why the events started as they did. Spike (although they didn't call him that) buys Bumblebee. Coincidence? it's not supposed to be. But they make it seem like it. Then halfway through, they decided that it's not. The Transformers were looking for the "all spark" a thing that supposed to give life to the Transformers (for you fans, it's like a mix of the Matrix and an Energon cube). Megatron came to Earth looking for it and got frozen in the artic. Then like 80 (or something like that) years later the Decepticons seem to find out that Spike has the location of the "all spark" because he has some glasses that has the location imprinted on it. Yet at the climax of the movie, we find that the "all spak" has been moved so the glasses are moot. A few times throughout the movie Prime lets everyone know that if he places the "all spark" in his chest he will die and destroy the "all spark" with him. So when they get the "all spark" they decided to have Spike run away with it while the Autobots and some military guys (who were stationed in Iraq) protect him. Megatron was way powerful and the Decepticons were overall stronger that the Autobots. So how do they win? Well, Prime yells to spike to place the spark inside if him (while getting his bumper handed to him by Megatron) and Spike magages to place the "all spark" inside Megatron's chest!. If a freakin' human could do that how difficult would it have been for a Transformer to do it? And why try to keep it away from Megatron to begin with? why not be like "here you go" then slip it right into the chest? Even the killing was inconsistant. Some deaths were overy tramatic, and some were like "oh well, he's dead, let's move and with this crappy movie". Oh, one last thing (well, I really could go on and on about it) I think Michael Bay is a Democrat. He takes an (obvious) political stand in the movie and manages to even poke fun at the President...
It's never a good thing when I get bored in an action flick. And that was exactly what I was. sure the visuals were nice, but it was nothing new, and a the story just wasn't there to keep me interested. Some people will like it. Those people have way lower standards than I have (not that that is a bad thing. cause if I did, then I would have enjoyed the movie!).



10/21/08 update: I hate this movie more and more every time I think about it. Now Shia Lebouf is on my short list of arch enemies. Oh, they are going to make 2 sequels next up is Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. Seriously. Part 3 will be called "Transformers 3: The search for more money"!