Dichotomy!

For a man who is rumored to like nothing this makes for a grand dilemma. If you truly are partial to no affiliations, no signs of conformity, then to do a blog, to sit and write about all that pisses you off in life is a bit of a contradiction. It implies that inside there is still hope, hope that you can convey emotions, hope that you can be understood, hope that your are being listened to and maybe even admired. With all that hope it tarnishes the image of a malcontent whom cares and loves for nothing, doesn’t it? By merely doing this blog I am proving that I have a care, some compassion, some hope for some aspect of positive energy in the world. Though my exterior remains hardened against the anticipation that such a thing is possible (call it a defense mechanism, or whatever), my brain seeks it’s own level, wishes to be relieved of this relentless skepticism, wishes to be “relaxed and groovy” as someone once put it. It’s not even clear to me why I’m sharing this all with you, perhaps only so that as you read on in the future, sounds of gnashing at the teeth and brimming discontent with the way the world is spinning, you might remember this first entry and think to yourselves, “No no, I read that first blog, you’re not a bad guy, you’re just a little jaded and disillusioned. And hey… at this point, who ain’t?” But then again, maybe I just didn’t have anything worth while to write about just this minute… No promises.

Screamer-H!
(Hassan Godwin)